Birthday Spankings--Monsters vs. the Machine: Part 1  by Kenton Kilgore
Pat won the roll to go first, and the birthday brutality began.

Turn 1
To everyone’s great surprise, the Tyranids stood still—not a single one moved—and they shot all of their AP3 weaponry at the Necrons, killing half my army in one ferocious volley. Well, no. Actually, all of them surged forward, many of them using the river as cover. The Winged Warriors with the deathspitters did fire at one of my Destroyer units, but missed. One Zoanthrope tried to zap the Monolith with a super-charged Warp Blast, but was out of range.

On my turn, I slid my Necrons to the right, further away from the Tyranids. I also turbo-boosted my Scarabs forward so that they could, on the next turn, intercept onrushing Buggies. The Monolith particle-whipped six Genestealers, reducing them to sizzling atoms, and the Destroyers killed six Termagants, which happened to be the closest squad. The rest of my forces were either out of range or didn’t have line of sight.

Turn 2
The Hivefleet Leviathan strain continued to advance, most of them, again, behind the river. The Winged Warriors again fired their deathspitters at the Destroyers, this time dropping one (who made his “We’ll Be Back” roll at the beginning of my turn). A Zoanthrope also fired on Destroyer Unit 3.1, but missed. The HQ Warrior brood fired on the Scarabs, inflicting seven Wounds, of which I made five saves. 

If the Tyranid Shooting Phase was unspectacular, the “Blue Bugs” made up for it during Assault. The Termagants and the closest Genestealers jumped the Scarabs, taking out six bases between them. I lost another base because of the rule about Fearless troops taking additional Wounds if outnumbered in hand-to-hand combat. But the Scarabs were still hanging in there, which was unfortunate: now, I couldn’t shoot at the two closest ‘nid broods. Not good. Not good.

On my turn, the Necrons continued to slide over, and I pulled back the Destroyers, firing at the Winged Warriors with the deathspitters. I killed five out of six and wounded the last one. In the Assault Phase, the Genestealers polished off the Scarabs and swept a whopping 1" forward; the Termagants swept 2" closer to my lines.

Turn 3
At the beginning of the turn, Pat’s Lictor popped up amidst the trees between my Monolith and the phalanx of Necrons. A Zoat fired at the Monolith and missed; Tyranid Warriors fired on Destroyer Unit 3.2 but had no success in taking down any. The Genestealers that had recently wiped out the Scarabs were juuuuuuuuust out of assault range of Destroyer Unit 3.1; the Termagants, however, could reach them, dropping one Destroyer (which made its “We’ll Be Back” roll on my turn). The Lictor charged Destroyer Unit 3.2, also taking down one (which failed its “WBB” roll and stayed down). Nearby, Genestealer Brood #2 assaulted the Monolith, and Pat was surprised to learn that rending would have no effect, thanks to the vehicles “Living Metal” rule. 

Things were looking hairy for Yblis’ Bzrkx. On my Movement Phase, the Monolith reached out and teleported Destroyer Unit 3.1 out of the clutches of the Termagants; Lucifer 1.0 used his Veil of Darkness to similarly rescue Destroyer Unit 3.2 from the Lictor. Destroyer Unit 3.1 wiped out Genestealer Brood #1, the ones that had failed to reach them in a charge. Lucifer 1.0 and Destroyer Unit 3.2 fired on a Zoanthrope and managed to inflict a Wound on it. The Immortals lit up the Lictor with their gauss blasters, easily killing it. Necron Warriors eliminated the Termagants and zapped a few of Genestealer Brood #2.

There, that was better.

Posted May 2007
 

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