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Events and Battle Reports
Birthday Spankings--A Hazy Shade of Winter 
Intro and Army Lists <> Part 1 <> Part 2 <> Post Game

Birthday Spankings--A Hazy Shade of Winter: Introduction and Army Lists   by Kenton Kilgore and Patrick Eibel

Lalaith entered his bedchamber and placed his helmet on a shelf by the door.  He stripped off his armor-suit and stretched and massaged his legs and feet, which were sore from patrolling the perimeter of the artifact digs. He padded naked to his bed pallet.  From under the low bed frame, he pulled out a wooden box.  He removed the contents of the box, then flipped the box over and placed it on the floor.  He began to place the contents – candles, scraps of cloth, shards of spirit stones – on the top of the box, creating an impromptu altar.  He lit the candles and sat cross-legged, arms akimbo, and began to meditate. 

The strong scent of the candles permeated the air and transported Lalaith’s consciousness to another place. “Speak to me, your loyal servant,” he whispered.  “Your supplicant.  Oh, Great One, Trickster, Taunter of the Ruinous Powers.  I call to you and await your bidding.”  It was a ritual Lalaith had performed many times, and each time he was given instructions to carry out to help guide the Laughing God out of the webway to this planet, Shar-Akummn, and free Lalaith from his life of drudgery. 

Minutes passed, but soon a face emerged in Lalaith’s mind’s eye.  The face was almost too beautiful to behold: perfect, flawless. 

“Greetings, Lalaith.  I thank you for your fealty and grant you the benefit of my council.”  The face smiled benevolently, like a father toward a well-behaved child. “I come nearer. The steps you have taken to mark the Path are leading me to you.  But there is a problem…”

Lalaith frowned and lay prostrate against the floor, “Tell me, Great One what it is, and I will remove any obstacle.”

“You are a good and loyal servant.  I cannot come to you because the compound’s defense system, which warns of attack from off-world, also prevents me from leaving the webway.  Were this system to be deactivated somehow, I could come and take you to your rightful place by my side.”

Lalaith’s heart leapt, “I will see it done.  Two nights’ hence, I will have all ready in preparation for your arrival.” 

The candles snuffed themselves out, and with the connection broken Lalaith shook himself back to awareness.  He quickly padded across his room back to his armor.  There was much to do to carry out his mission.

Two nights later, Lalaith lurked in the darkness by the main security building of the Eldar compound.  It was snowing again, and most of the other Eldar were in their quarters. The Warlocks and Waywatchers and menial workers were all asleep, as they did not dig at night, lest they damage any ancient artifacts that they might find. The Harlequins that patrolled the perimeter were all outside the electronic fence, concerned only with external threats.  Lalaith only needed to slip past the few Guardians that manned the security station and place his haywire grenades, which he had stolen from the arsenal. 

Silently, he rounded the corner and nearly walked into Khoril, another Guardian, and a friend, who was returning to his post.  In a flash, Lalaith slashed with his knife, nearly severing Khoril’s neck. He caught Khoril’s body as it fell, and held him still for a few minutes as the life bled out of him, into the snow.

Lalaith was sorry for having to resort to deadly force, but there had been no choice, and there was no time to mourn.  He quickly walked through the corridors of the security building to where the power generator for the entire complex lay.  He knew the way well, having scouted it out the day before.  Within minutes, he reached his destination and placed several haywire grenades around the generator and control panels. When the power went, there would be so much confusion that it would take minutes, maybe hours to get back-up power on, and by then Lalaith would be long gone.

With the timers set, Lalaith raced back out of the building to the landing field to await the arrival of the Great One.  As he made his way from the building, several explosions signaled success, and the entire compound went dark.  Shouts from guards filled the air, but Lalaith was able to elude detection by keeping low to the ground and staying in the shadows. 

A strange craft was descending as Lalaith reached the landing field.  Its sleek metal sides and green-glowing weapons were unlike any ship he had ever seen before.  Presently, a figure of pure crystal emerged, not from a door, but from a swirling aura of green light.  He approached Lalaith, who prostrated himself at the figure’s feet.

“I have done as you asked, Great One.”  Lalaith said, not looking up. “Take me with you to sail the webway and learn your secrets. Free me from this meaningless life.”

While Lalaith spoke, the features of the figure changed. “My dear supplicant,” it said.  “I appreciate your loyalty, really.  It is to be commended.  But you are not my type.”  The figure, now a man-like being with metallic skin and graceful features, laughed heartily. 

Lalaith started to rise, looking about in confusion.  Who was this charlatan?  Where was his salvation?  What had he done?

“I will grant you one favor, however,” the Deceiver continued, “I will free you from your mundane life, as you wish.”  With that, Lalaith felt his body rise up, supported by some telekinetic power.  The C’Tan waved his hand, and Lalaith flew thirty yards, crashing into the wall of the terminal building.  Lying there, broken and dying, Lalaith wept.

Nearby, hundreds of metallic warriors lined up before the charismatic figure.  “Hearken to me, my minions!  Destroy nothing you find that is not flesh.  Anything flesh you find, kill them.  Kill them all.”
--fiction by Patrick Eibel

April 19 is Assistant Jungle Guide Patrick Eibel’s birthday, and by happy coincidence, it fell on a Saturday this year. That meant that we could get together on his actual birthday for what has become a tradition: some bare-knuckles 40K brutality. 

As he was the birthday boy, Pat picked the armies that were invited to the party: his Eldar (last seen dancing with the Dark Eldar) and my Necrons (recently thumped by my daughter, Beth). Though my Necrons are often on the losing side of a battle, I had confidence because they had, during the previous birthday battle, snagged a victory against Pat’s Tyranids. How would they do this time?

In coming up with a backstory for the battle, we decided to do something a little different, and set it in the distant past, before the Imperium of Man, before the Fall of the Eldar. Back when the Eldar held a planet called Shar-Akummn, and had been excavating ancient, alien artifacts they had found there.  This battle acts as a prequel to some other established lore we have created for the website (see The Battle of the Webmasters and Women’s Work).

Necrons: 2988 points by Kenton Kilgore
Necrons don’t have many different units, so my army doesn’t vary much from one battle to another. I load up on Warriors and Destroyers, bring the nigh-mandatory Lords with Resurrection Orbs, and season with one or two “just-for-fun” units. This time out, my “fun” unit was the Pariahs: they’re expensive, but might provide some gits and shiggles when dealing with the inevitable Eldar psykers. 

  • Centurion Lucifer 1.1. Necron Lord w/ Staff of Light, Resurrection Orb, and Veil of Darkness (200 points)
  • Centurion Lucifer 1.2. Necron Lord w/ Staff of Light, Resurrection Orb, Destroyer Body, and Phase Shifter (200 points)
  • Unit 2.1. Ten Immortals (280 points)
  • Unit 2.2. Eight Pariahs (288 points)
  • Unit 3.1. Fifteen Warriors (270 points)
  • Unit 3.2. Fifteen Warriors (270 points)
  • Unit 3.3. Fifteen Warriors (270 points) 
  • Unit 3.4. Fifteen Warriors (270 points) 
  • Unit 4.1. Four Destroyers (200 points)
  • Unit 4.2. Four Destroyers (200 points)
  • Unit 5.1. Two Tomb Spyders, one w/ particle projector (55 points each)
  • Unit 5.2. Three Heavy Destroyers (195 points)
  • Unit 5.3. Monolith (235 points)
I had 82 “Necrons,” (Pariahs, Tomb Spyders, and the Monolith don’t count), and would Phase Out at 20 or fewer ‘bots.

That's a lot of 'bots: Necrons of Yblis' Bzrkx arrayed for battle 

Eldar: 3002 points by Patrick Eibel
My wife purchased and painted this Eldar army back in the 2nd Edition days. I’ve brought it out of retirement, added some more units, and adjusted it to the Eldar codex that came out in 2006. I brought:

  • Jain Zar (190 points)
  • Farseer w/ ghosthelm, singing spear, rune armor, spirit stones, Guide, and Doom (103 points)
  • Harlequins (10 total). Troupe Leader, Shadowseer, five Harlequins w/ kisses (250 points) 
  • Howling Banshees (10 total), including Exarch w/ executioner, War Shout (187 points)
  • Howling Banshees (10 total), including Exarch w/ executioner, War Shout (187 points)
  • Fourteen Guardians, including starcannon (137 points), plus Warlock w/ witchblade and Embolden (33 points)
  • Fourteen Guardians, including starcannon (137 points), plus Warlock w/ witchblade and Embolden (33 points)
  • Dire Avengers (10 total), including Exarch w/ power weapon, shimmershield, and Bladestorm (162 points)
  • Ten Jetbikes (230 points), plus Warlock w/ jetbike, singing spear, and Conceal (66 points)
  • Ten Rangers (190 points)
  • Warp Spiders (8 total), including Exarch w/ extra deathspinner, powerblades, and Withdraw (218 points)
  • Squadron of two Vypers w/ scatter lasers, spirit stones, and vectored engines (180 points) 
  • Shining Spears (5 total), including Exarch w/ Skilled Rider and Withdraw (222 points)
  • Dark Reapers (5 total), including Exarch w/ missile launcher and Crack Shot (217 points)
  • Five Dark Reapers (175 points)
  • War Walker w/ bright lance, missile launcher, and spirit stones (85 points)
That’s 119 models that Kenton would have to kill to win—fat chance!

Some of Pat's Harlequins, ready to take on the Necrons and defend Shar-Akummn 

Setting Up by Kenton Kilgore
We played at my house, and because it was a gorgeous spring day (much like last year’s game), we played outside, in my back yard. This year, though, I had a literal change of scenery for Pat: I had assembled a set of “winter” terrain, mostly consisting of scores of conifer trees of various sizes. I had also painted up a “winter” board (four 2’ x 4’ plywood sections) by priming it gray and then brushing ordinary white house paint (that I had leftover in the garage) over it. My younger daughter likes 40K but isn’t old enough to play yet (she’s 9, as of this writing), so I asked her to set up the terrain.

Based on the “fluff,” or background story that Pat had already developed for this game, I suggested we play “Meatgrinder,” with me and my Necrons as the Attacker. Pat agreed, and we followed the mission parameters as we deployed. Pat put most of his forces on his left, with only the Harlequins, the Shining Spears, the Vypers, and the unit of Dark Reapers without an Exarch on his right. I bunched most of my Necrons into a phalanx, so that they could rely on the nearby Tomb Spyders and the Resurrection Orb carried by Centurion Lucifer 1.1. I placed my Monolith and my Destroyers (assisted by Centurion Lucifer 1.2) on my left flank. Pat infiltrated his Rangers, and we rolled to see would go first.

The two armies, ready for battle. It was odd playing on a "winter" board during a sunny, warm spring day...

Birthday Spankings--A Hazy Shade of Winter 
Intro and Army Lists <> Part 1 <> Part 2 <> Post Game

Posted June 2008


Fighting Tigers:
Codex <> Tactics <> Gallery <> Allies and Enemies <> Tales of the Tigers

Other Pages:
Main <> What's New <> Site Index <> The Tiger Roars <> Themed Army Ideas
Events and Battle Reports <> Campaigns <> Terrain  <> FAQ <> Beyond the Jungle